It's Cold Outside

Dear Someone Certain,

Since blogspot has been blocked and you cannot view the blog, i'm sure you recieved my little letter with 2 needed fields. Blogger is the only website with that password though =P

I find that this morning i feel rather comforted or aloof in my thoughts. The donut holes are amayzahn btw, ah my gahhh, mmmmmmmmm, yummmmmm-eeeeeee xDD. I had time to finish that project in the bathroom of the 600 building without Mr. Marks feeling like i was lying (and i didn't have to turn 8:30 into 8:39 with a simple line oh that rhymed OH DOUBLE RHYME), but i think the residue of the marijuana may have induced a contact high, so i'm sure whether or not i was actually writing the facts or about how delicious oatmeal donut holes would be. Ugh. Gawd.

sorry i'm so hyper, i took my medicine this morning but i guess the temperature is messing with my head. In my thoughts, i am very calm and collected with my cool compassion ;P but as i have just reread everything i've typed for comparison, i find my proffessed thoughts very overactive. So i guess now i'm just controlling it. Keeping it low down. Hmmmmm.... In....... Out........ (breathing, not creepy slow rape)

Anyways, if i make it into Governor's school and you don't, you needn't slap me, as i would probably drop out anyways. Or if i had to go to the school on the other side of the state, you know. I assume you probably are thinking that my reason for going shouldn't just be you, and it isn't necesarilly. What i see it as is that if we do in fact end up going to governor's school, and going to the same school (hopefully western), even if i won't necesarilly see you ALL the time, i might get to see you every once in a while, maybe even every day. Other than that, i would actually be near you in the summer. so that PLUS the extra education i would get in flute would be a win win.

On one of the other hands (yes, it's a 3 armed... situation... that would be cool if the situation was paralyzed and became a pentapalegic xD) ANYWAYS on one of the other hands, if i make it and you don't and simply give it up, then i get to spend more time with you during the summer. But since you wouldn't have made it, you would be upset, so either way, it would be bad. Let's just hope that hand is cut off.

But on the other other hand, say you make it and I don't, i'll be upset because I wouldn't get to see you, but happy because you would be getting extra education and experience in your favorite activity, the one you're best at. And it's only six weeks, but six weeks is a long time to go without seeing your best friend =/ i would still come see the final performance no doubt. But still... 6 weeks =P

So it's a strange scenario... but we can only hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

Random thought: Last night before i called (you know, where my mom picked up and went hezbollah on you) i came up with a new decoration idea for my room; Quotenotes =P (just came up with the title for chique) but yeah, quotes, lyrics, drawings, stuff like that on sticky notes on my wall. i'm probably getting overexcited but i just like the idea. Maybe just song lyrics i like, and then people who i meet or randomly see write down a favorite quote or draw a picture or write a song lyric and then i take it home and put it on my wall. Why i find the idea interesting is actually the most confusing part to me... but who knows =)

So now that i have finished all of the music for my soul to take and most of the lyrics, i just have to writing lyrics and recording, and the cd with all of the music will be yours. I'll probably record my colorblind cover (which not to be arrogant, but is really neat. But, i'm sure Bottom Heaveh and yous is bettuh.)

Random Thought #2: i randomly thought about the bet for God knows why, probably the whole hezbollah thing, and i realize that it is still on, but we have a week before it can technically come to either a continuation of a scenario in which one of us could win and the other lose bringing the winnings of a side to fruition. I would give a random thought #3 on how i would have good faith in winning, but i'd rather keep it a surprise. xD

If any of my contingent strands of nearly tangible information have made any sense or even an inch of sense, whatsoever, i'm glad.

The weather outside fascinates me. In response to your facebook post where i was creeping moments ago, i am ready for fall myself and it feels like it is hear. It feels wonderful outside, so wonderful. I've been imagining these days.

• The cool, calm, collected breath of coriolis face...
• the doldrums of the air above the fields that line the country side
• the morose and sonorous echoes that fill the enclosed openings in the spaces amongst the woods from the highway and the college
• the lack of birds singing in the morning,
• the calm rains whose voices drip and pat like a room of deaf children,
• the falling leaves that litter the ground like the aftermath of a great catastrophe, the death of the summer, the birth of the fall, and the piles of them that all the kids lay in for fun and stare up at the cirrus clouds high up in the atmosphere amongst the pressure differences, our breathe warm, tingly and heavy.
• the snow, signaling it's coming through the moons cold ring,

And strangely enough to accompany all this perfectly, my dream last night was another one of those sensuous dreams where i felt everything, and it was so awesome.

the hollow breath that fills the air as the fog condenses in our faces with each passing exhale, the warm bodies standing in amazement beside each other, one in a beanie and long winter clothes, one in just long winter clothes, both in blackish sweaters without hoods, openly smiling and looking in calmed awe at the hues of purple, gold, and orange in the dramatic stillness and silence of dusk, illuminating their blue eyes and their icy hands falling together in a warming closure, open and twining, the whole time, steven bryant's beautiful piece "dusk" is playing. Probably because i was listening to it on repeat all night xD

You probably can't totally envision that vision, but the cinematography is always the same, extremely amazing. It views us from the front at a 45 degree angle to their faces being slightly bright, and then it goes to their sides of their faces getting darker going back, just below the shoulder and above the top of the hair of the taller one, who is closer to the view, showing their breath becoming icy.. and then it views them from the back towards the sunset at a solid angle, going just below their bottom back and just above their heads, with their bodies turned into near shadows amongst the sunsets light direction. then finally their hands as they go together slightly brighter, and then lastly it views them from the back with the bottom at their middle back and the top just above their heads, with the sides at their shoulders, and they finally turn their heads to face each other, with their lip corners up in subtle smiles, their eyes calm and inviting, in touch with all that surrounds them.

Hmm... it seems like i'm thinking very deeply about aesthetics, with the visions of this and the music in the back ground. Come to think of it, i'll send you the link to the mp3 of dusk so you can hear it. Whether you enjoy orchestral music or not, it is a very beautiful and moving piece. Come to think of it, Steven Bryant (the composer) actually lives in raleigh.... =P learn something new every day.

But i'm very glad i write these letters. Just like right now, because i was able to write that out, i was able to come more in touch with it, and it calmed me some how. If I don't sound weird right now, i think i do xD

I feel like giving you the rundown of your entire package to expect

1st CD - Sleep Stranger - My Soul To Take

1. To No End
2. Blue Sweater
3. Creatures(s)
4. Of Wrists And Raining
5. Apogee (A Long Goodbye)
6. My Soul To Take

2nd CD - Sleep Stranger Bonus Stuff ( Covers and Unused Songs)

1. Western Side Story
2. Old Soul
3. Cold Sweat
4. Flotilla Acts I & II
5. Colorblind (Counting Crows Cover)
6. Book Of Love (The Magnetic Fields Cover)

3rd Cd - Sampsons Azaleas - EP

1. Our Fathers And Their Flags
2. Tiles
3. Altar Ego
4. ...Is Still A Wolf
5. ED

Apogee

You said goodbye to me, and it was slow and painful

I stayed at home, and grieved on my own

the phone rang as mother spoke softly, and father came in crying

I swallowed hard and nodded like i finally understood

it was meaningless, but i believe it was meaningful for the moment

the moon is as far away as it's ever going to get

My only friend when i think of you since you'd left

With your ashes in a quandary amongst your spouse and songs

And your captured visions remain as the scars

And when they threw them for the river in unfaithful wishes

the wind blew back her face and you drove your burnings

back on their garments your act as a callous laugh, but that's just you

i must admit, i found it funny

i still hear you hum in the place where you watched the red car

we used to have pull up

and celebrate the legos and peanut brittle, throwing down your jack

death is meaningless, it wasn't even meaningful in the moment

Your ghost is in a quandary, but your soul is calm at the moment

death is meaningless, the memory of you is just, for the moment

and i promise i won't ever speak or think of you again, for the moment

sorry, felt that writing that. As in I just wrote it, just now x). It's probably the only song not actually about you on MSTT come to think of it. It's about my grandfather if you didn't understand =P i had been wanting to put at least one song about him on the record. I can probably explain all of the lyrics in my message tomorrow. I probably will. =) I really think it honors all of his memory, good and bad. Really introspective for me. You probably have noticed i talk in cryptic shorthand when i'm thinking really deep about something and don't really find the capabilities of putting more descriptive words into use.

I just realized i've been writing this for over and hour. It probably will only take you 3 minutes to read it. I find it that things like a good lengthy orchestral piece takes weeks and months, sometimes years to compose, while the finished product might only last 5-15 minutes. It's really phenomenal to me, but in contrast the end does crown the work, so the more work, the larger the crown that is garnered, i suppose. I think i've wrote quite a bit, so i'll just spare you the painful reading of more of this and bid farewell.

as always, live life abundantly. "Sometimes, you have to just go for it."

-Hunter.