all talked out

you have a habit of indecisiveness.

i've seen it.

"shades of gray cloud every covered street .
and the rain begins to fall
in exponential quantities
swallowing the city whole."

Two Interpretations - Bon Iver's "Wisconsin" and Rogue Waves "Eyes"

So, i wanted to do both of these songs but couldn't pick one soooo, SHADAISEY!

i'll start with bon iver's wisconsin. Again, both of these songs are both beautiful and haunting, so i suggest listening to them HIGHLY.


First of all, the song Wisconsin is special because it's probably the most beautiful and retro song on "for emma, forever ago" even though you can't actually get it on the album unless you buy it from iTunes, get the torrent, and they don't perform it live. The song repeatedly uses the lines love is loves _____" and each word represents something else. This line is especially meaningful to me because of a certain given situation i have experienced. basically, i didn't believe in love fully, but because of it i understood a little more about what love was and although at this age i don't completely believe in it, i have seen a glimpse of it, and know that the emotion itself although varying is in fact very real and very personal. so, without further ado.

You ride in the park and you're peaking
Piss pools in your seat
Shes standing inside but you surely repeat
Oh God dont leave me here
I will freeze till the end
Love is loves reprieve

now, JV like i said in my pier 39 interp. uses a FUCKTON of symbolism and simile/metaphor. This song is also special because it refrains a little from that and just uses honestly and strangely revealing truths. This to me though has a little bit contained within. I think basically JV is using a typical Wisconsin winter as a comparison for a relationship ending. the first line is that the relationship is going smooth and possibly peaking at some point of remorse or anger, piss "pools" being a verb rather than a noun. Maybe he's insecure, and she's standing inside and warm and he's happy that she is, but he's begging her not to leave him in the cold he is in because he knows he will freeze. The first love is loves ____ line explains why it shows what love really is. Reprieve is of course a relief from harm or discomfort, sometimes temporary, sometimes not. But to love someone is not to give them reprieve, but to give their love reprieve, even though it will only be temporary.

Winter is coming and you're stuck here
Oh and so is she
Now when the wind blows you cover your teeth
I told you to shed away and trade in your blues
Love is loves sad news

this goes on to say that he knows that it's over and that the he's going to feel the cold pain. the second lines makes me think it's something unexpected that someone didn't know. "oh and so is she" is suggesting "oh, she is too. she knows she's going to feel the pain." and so perhaps, she is still the "wind" blowing, and so he covers his teeth because he doesn't want to hurt her. And the fourth line is just saying "i told you not to be upset, don't be like me, shed and trade in your sadness, be happy." and then, this to himself is "sad news", but it is because he loves her.

That was Wisconsin that was yesterday
Now I have nothing that I can keep
Cause every place I go I take another place with me
Love is loves mystique

and these refrains kind of show his hidden feelings. JV lived in wisconsin, so he's basically saying, that was just temporarily my home, that was the past. He now has nothing that he can keep because when you care about someone enough, everything you know and do becomes a reminder of them to you in someone, and you can't keep it because you're trying to heal. And he knows in his heart every place he goes, every person that he goes to, he's going to carry her in his heart and he won't ever feel the same comfort from anyone, described as places, like his home, (wisconsin.) And then he goes on to say, love is loves mystique, because love itself is actually the magic in love. it is a mysterious compelling feeling. but it is the core, surrounded by other feelings of joy and happiness.

Youre up on the bar and your shaking
With every grimy word
Who will love
Whats love when you've hurt
You wonder as you see the snow kissed the curb
Love is loves return

this line might get a little confusing. i think this is saying you try to find happiness in bars and dancing, in grimy filthy untrue words. Moreso, it's basically saying now you're trying to find anyone who will alleviate it. The 3rd and fourth lines trick me up, because i'm not sure if "you've hurt" is saying that you yourself have felt hurt, or you have hurt someone else. I'm not really sure, but either way, these lines to me are saying who will ever truly love that? what is "love" when you have hurt yourself so much? And then winter finally arrives painfully as the first snow "kisses the curb", so the cold pain happens, but it's not a blizzard, it's just kissing. And he bitterly says the last line which sounds to me like "if you truly love someone, you won't just let them go, you will return it to them, share it."

That was Wisconsin that was yesterday
Now I have nothing that I can keep
Cause every place I go I take another place with me
Love is loves critique

again, the same as the first refrain, but this time it is a little more confused, a little more captive, but he always go back to say "it'll never be the same." love is loves critique because if you love something, you won't destroy their love, you will critique it, you will find it perfect in someone way or another you will fix it. i'm probably terribly wrong with all this but, just my take.

MOVING ON!

i heard the song eyes on the LG vortex commercial, and the meaning hit me pretty broadside when i first read the lyrics. i actually just heard the song and looked it up for the song alone, and looked up the lyrics for yucks and kinda got bitchslapped, hahaha. anyways. This song is actually pretty beautiful and joyous, melancholy honestly. check it outttttt. i'm going to do each line in this individually. i'm interpretting the song based on the entire thing, not a single line.

Missed the last train home
i missed my last chance to save "us", to come home.
Birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone
pun possibly intended, either saying
a) (no pun) my friends come and go like birds to tell me i'm not alone, i'll survive
b) (pun) there is someone else to comfort you, i'm not alone in your mind.
Well, I'm pushing myself to finish this part
i have maybe contemplated self harm and find it hard, but i'm determined to get through this.
I can handle a lot
i can do this, like i said. i'll be okay, i'll survive...
But one thing I'm missing is in your eyes
but i'll never be complete, i left part of me in you. i won't really be alive.

In your eyes...

Have you seen this film?
this has happened before... have you felt it?
It reminds me of walking through the avenues
i remember how i walked endlessly through a maze in the city of my mind
Washing my hands of attachments, yeah
trying to get through this and live my life, just being myself without attachments, being happy
I can land on the ground
i will survive, i will be fine. like i said, i can get through this.
But one thing I'm missing is in your eyes
but i'll never be complete, i won't ever be "alive."
'Cause I find love
i won't be complete without what i left in your eyes.

In your eyes...

wow, my interpretations suck dick today. i think i'll just leave before i embarass myself any farther xD

I wrote you another love song after having a random though pop into my head upon going through my favotire tweets.

The lyrcis are on aag. Go find it.

First two songs are on myspace.com/sampsonsazaleas. Neither are finished. Just rough listenable cuts. Both need real finished drum parts, csdms is definitely not done / too long. Anyways.

Thoughts i'd let you know if you still read....

So sleepy.

-hunter.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Justin Vernon - Pier 39 interpretation.

i feel like taking a shot dissecting the lyrics to Justin Vernons "Pier 39". i've been listening to the song a lot lately and i've always wondered to myself what the lyrics meant. if you haven't listened, i definitely recommend it, a really beautiful song.

the title of the song "pier 39" which is a famous pier in california definitely goes along with the song. all in all, Justin Vernon is a very symbolic and metaphorical lyricist, so you have to keep in mind the vision of the pier throughout the words.

You talk about affinity
You talk about you telling me
Your habitat

it begins with narrator a conversation with a person. affinity is an unexpected attraction between people or other things, so i imagine the person is perhaps talking about what relationships she's been in or maybe how she feels about love. I read the next line a little broken so it makes more sense; "you talk about you (break) telling me your habitat." i think the narrator has possibly just met this person, and she is telling him about herself, her "habitat", the place she lives, the main parts of her life.

The harbor lights they follow me
They're tearing at our company
Can't you see?

i am still a little puzzled by this stanza. i think it's classic example of JV's symbolism; harbor lights are used to guide ships at sea towards the harbor in dense fog or storms. Harbor lights usually spin around in a light house, but he says they (not just it, to suggest more than one) "follow" him, so i think he is saying there are some things on his mind constantly trying to guide him home, or somewhere he know he has to be. he feels like these thoughts are tearing at the company between him and this person. By using the word "tearing" he is suggesting he feels a connection to this person he doesn't want to just release.

I'm cold like a carving
Cold like a wind
Bold, gentle, stubborn
Your rolling waves

i think this stanza is just a continuation of the previous line "can't you see?" i see this stanza as him saying to this person that he feels like he will hurt them, or that from past experiences he is "cold" and he's trying to say "can't you see that i have these "harbor lights" tearing at our company?" I think he used cold (the emotion) and carving (as a verb) to say that he felt like he would scar them, to say he would be quick and chilly like a wind. it's possible he is trying to warn them away? perhaps he feels guilty for knowing he is caught in a situation that is bad for him and that he'll have to get out of because of the lights "tearing at him." "Bold, gentle, and stubborn" are just the ways that he describes the beauty in this person, and that their rolling waves make it seem so easy to talk to or be around, rolling waves are usually calming and peaceful. perhaps the things he is shown in this person are telling him that this person makes him happy?

I'm baffled by your symmetry
Underneath the budded tree
Waiting on your game

this one isn't so complicated. human attraction is based upon bodily symmetry of others, so easily enough said, the narrator finds this person beautiful like he's never seen before, he's baffled by it. i think the second two lines are simply saying he sees the buds of flowers on a tree, and that he's underneath them, waiting for them to blossom. perhaps he feels like it's a game he's waiting on to play.

To send you to some other joy
I'll pick you up and write you notes
Fancy meeting you here

i'm starting to get the feeling some of these lines play off of each other. i think this might be a continuation of the "waiting on your game" line. i'll just say so and go with it. he might be saying he's waiting on her "game" to send her to some other joy. perhaps another love? maybe he's saying he's seen this before? anyways, the second line, i feel, is him saying that he will pick her up or be there for her when she is hurting, and that he'll write her notes and be her friend. Then, by some random chance, he's hoping might meet her somewhere (maybe a state of mind rather than a place?) that brings them together again, "fancy meeting you here." fancy would usually suggest a happy coincidence.

Cause you're old like the street names
Feels old like our card games
Tired as home and morning pains
I tie you up with me

another simply put stanza: i think he's saying she's someone he knows quite well like street names that have been there for him for a long time, perhaps something that directs him (in JV's symbolism). I think the second line is just saying that they found joy in simple things like card games. Finally, they are both tired and bored like home can get, and tired of morning pains (which i interpret as waking up without anything to be happy about), so he ties this person up with him, or perhaps takes a step towards being with this person again. i think that this songs stanzas may stretch over a period of time, not just one occurence.

You will somehow make me learn
That what is it inside me that
burns

this stanza might connect to the next, but i interpret this as the narrator is telling himself that "you will help me understand what this feeling inside me is, (saying burning to say) it's a pain and i don't understand, i don't want it. i don't know how you will make me learn, but you will."

A carnival inside this mind
Just a divert roadside sign
Directing you along the way

a carnival inside his mind might be saying he feels like there is a party in his head, a happiness full of fun and joy is just an unexpected detour in the other person's life, but it will end up leading them back to their way.

Feels old like your pages
I'm feeling born like your babies
I've been boarded up like cages
But I'm busting out
But I'm busting out

i don't really understand this paragraph. i think it might be another stanza continuation. He's perhaps saying "directing you along the way feels old like your pages", like he's done this "directing" with himself before, and maybe the pages represent the person's history. Feeling born like babies might make him feel as if he's brand new, like saying "all your creations, all the thoughts that come from you are newborn and beautiful, and i've been boarded up in the cage of my own mind. I feel so brand new because of you, i'm busting out."

And don't you give up on me
Don't be like me cause you love me
Don't give up on me
Don't be like me cause you love me

i am not sure at all what the storyline of this song is now, but i know it's him speaking to a girl, that's about it xD maybe he's saying he's been a prisoner of himself all along? I'm not completely sure i understand this line, but i can give personal meaning i find in it. wow, what a terrible way to finish an analysis. i think this stanza is saying either one of two things; "don't give up on me, i'm still here. just be yourself, don't be like me just because you love me." i feel like it's saying more of: "i know how much you care about me and just want to do what you feel makes me happier in the end, but please don't give up on me like i gave up on myself, i still care a lot about you."

a little skewed.

i'm probably wrong.

whatever. at least i tried. =p

"this feeling. isn't it terrifying?"

"the absolute. there is nothing i've found that i've ever been more afraid of; no monster beneath my bed, no ghosts of dead relatives, no fervent nervousness in the back of my mind; nothing."

-an old friend and i.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

untitled.

Im sorry.

Ive been really really selfish these past few weeks. I didn't want you to see it, i didn't. Because i knew you hated it, to see me this way.

When i say it's too late for you to become my martyr, im not taking a dig at you by any means, i could never be mad at you, or want you to be upset or angry. I hate it when you are. But it's always been too late. Ill never let you sacrifice yourself to make feel better, crazy.

I just want to see you happy. I say that honestly and sincerely. Even if it kills me.

I remember i said i would let you destroy me if it meant being with you. Of course we never wanted you to, it just happened. But don't think you can't change it, "heavy heartedness" as you chose to call it. I usually believe people can't change and never will with a stingent heart. But recently my belief on that has been changed a little bit. Im not as much of a cynic anymore, but probably a little more narcissistic =p I chose to come into your life and be wrapped in it, bad parts and all because i cared about you, i still care about you. I knew it would be worth it, And it was.

You made me happier than i'd been by far.

To trek through all that madness contained within the storm, someone must have the affection strong enough to create such an internal inertia and perpetual motion that will let them simply brush through the blizzard, because they don't care about all that; they see through all the roughs and desire to see you for what you are. If they still have enough of that affection left, they come to find this wall that surrounds your being, and break it down. Even if they simply make a crack in it, they would be in absolute awe at even a glimpse of the beauty unparalleled that doesn't just surround you, but is contained within you, within each layer, every inch of your skin, soul and mind.

I know i was. I still am.

I don't know if you still have feelings for me. If you believe in them. i hope you do, but If you don't you don't, and maybe you'll change your mind someday. but i can't control that.

I could say more, but text isn't the way. Will told me you think you should talk to me? Probably.

Just be happy. Don't drag yourself down with me. I know how much you care, and it means a lot to me, but but i don't want you to see this, i don't want you to know, or feel the need to be altruistic. If anything, to see you be unhappy would only make me worse, and if you've been covering it thus far if you've been, thank you. i really wish that i could've done better myself.

Im sorry i brought you down with me on any degree. I know it was my fault, and i will always kick myself for it. Im sorry for the production i've made of the emptiness between us. I just want to fill it again, no matter to what degree.

As always,
Live life.
-hunter.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

for you who care

i am on the way to a parade in bailey with extremely high hopes of freezing my ass off in this thin uniform with gym shorts, boxers, a t-shirt, and high socks as my own refuge from the brutal conditions of pre-neo ice age december weather.
In good news, I felt like being rebelious so i wore my drumline shirt instead of my band shirt.
Rebel without a cause. Literally, i have no reason for wearing a different shirt besides not wanting to dig through my drawer to find the appropriate attire, despite the amount of time i had to do so (which was plentiful.)
My glasses broke this morning. In retrospect, the story which makes me look like an idiot is pretty funny, so I'll recount it.
So, my glasses broke. Not totaled like james deans spyder but pretty useless. Basically, one of the legs has been missing it's bolt so the only thing holding it to the frame was a single screw and tight placement. So i laid them upside down and the next time i look at the bathroom counter the leg is sitting awkwardly displaced from the frame and the screw sitting nearby. So, me being the natural attempt to fix it because without them you're blind and look strange guy i am, goes to fix them thinking i can put the leg piece back in the slot and simply drop the bolt in, not turn it upside down, they'll be fine right?
Of course not.
So, the screw, being equivalent in size to a gnat is very hard to precisely place when you have manly hands which means large fingers. Moreso, it's very hard to hold a leg to a frame when there is nothing attaching the two. I pick up a pair of tweezers to place the screw so that it's easier for me to the the leg and frame together.
In my absolute genius, i didn't take into account the fact that i was fixing my glasses on the edge of a bathroom sink by a trashcan full of tissue paper and an empty bottle of tinactin. And that holding a metal gnat sized object with tweezers is hard. -.-
As you have probably figured out, the bolt fell OUT of the tweezers, rolled OFF the counter, bounced OFF of the can of tinactin with a *ding* and landed SOMEWHERE in the narnia-like expanse of tissue paper covered with my dads earwax, a couple cigarette butts (thus tar stains) and God knows whatever else.
Now, I'm not a trash man.
You best believe that screw was dead to me the moment it didn't land outside that trash can. Over. gone. Done. Dead. Finis. Quietus. You get it.
Now, there's obviously a problem here, or else i wouldn't be upset about my glasses being broken and the bolt beng lost in the household equivalent of a homeless hungarian man's beard.
I can't see without my glasses.
I am like the male velma of scooby doo.
Now granted, there are people with worse vision than me. But I'm practically legally blind.
I can see things up close but unless i wanted to act like a bloodhound and run up to everything i was trying to look at anywhere and squint which would in turn cause me to look as if i were sniffing... well, I'd need to either be placed in a psyche ward or wear my glasses.
Furthermore, i had to find some way to remedy this unfortunate predicament i was in, so i began to brainstorm. I went to my mom and asked if she could call the eye care center and get the screw replaced for the time being. so i left them in her room and she told me to go find the bolt.
Ha. I imagine she was high and in an alternate dimension where delusional people who expect children to pick a straw of hay from a needlestack are treated as comedians.
-.-
To make it seem like i was looking for the screw, i went into my room to get my old nerd glasses with thinline flexiframes and tiny lenses. I have always kept this pair on my bedside table in case my main pair did in fact break.
The glasses were no where to be found.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
So, i knew in my heart, against all mental arguments i was having with myself that there was only one horrifically unconventional impromptu way out of this situation: GHETTOFICATION.

How?

It will be revealed after i, against my will, freeze my junk into my stomach.

Godspeed.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Ghost in the Machine (lyric ideas)

So effortlessly

such beautiful wings

took flight from your spine

and you left the door ajar

your wind brushed my cheek

so i looked up to speak

but long, you'd been gone

a voice, lingering within

just let me go

release this hold you have over me

i'm just a ghost

in the machine.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

how is something i cannot see my greatest fear?

Dear someone certain,

i'm sorry how short this entry will end up being. i'm not really in the mood to write today, but i will anyways because i figure you still like reading this "from time to time." i feel really drowsy and fatigued. mehhhhhhhhhh.

so you sort of disappeared last night as you know because it was you. anyways, i feel like you deserve some sort of explanation.

i'm not sure if your a big dashboard confessional fan, but even if you were, you probably wouldn't realize what i was meaning even if i put so long twice... i felt like so long once was a bit more cryptic and relative though so... i think i'll just write the lyrics down. the first half isn't important but it's the whole chorus, so;

"how the girls can turn to ghosts before your eyes

and the very dreams that led to them

are keeping them from dying

and how the grace with which she walked into your life

will stay with you in your steps and pace with you a while

for so long; so long"

the meaning is pretty interesting to me but that's another story. Adam Duritz from Counting Crows is a guest vocalist though, so i enjoy the song. =p

if i catch you today, i catch you. i figure since you said no more emo_ness, and then left i figured those were your guiding words, so in order to avoid emo_ness, as a collaborative bargain, (even though i imagine i'll explain this when i creep on you after school) i figure that i should be around you at at least some point in the day which as it stands will probably be after school now... but anyways, i will have to be around you which will prevent any emo_ness or suicidal hintings (even though they were more of just loneliness and my own selfishness) from leaving me, because if they do, you will probably either slap me on the hand or threaten to feed me to an alligator. I know you probably suggested such a reptile would've been a pleasantry in ways to leave this place, of horruh an wrath an teeyuhs! but you know now i don't fancy them unless they're behind thick glass walls in aquariums. Speaking of which, we still must venture to the aquarium of ripley. otherwise, i don't think i'll ever go. xD

I know that you left last night and i said sweet dreams which ends it and what not, and i can understand, it's just your need for spaciousness but not letting me drift to far away if that's your grand scheme if i'm just making up parallel realities that will destroy me in my head. But I figure you're probably noticing that since ben has told me i need to tell you what we had a heart to heart about, i have to. That is, unless you don't want it. Honestly, i wasn't going to tell you. Actually, that's one of the things me and ben were actually talking about, me not telling you xD which is why it led to me needing to tell you so in a sense i'm.... yeah i just lost my train of mind so i'm going to go on to my next thought. =p ( i had said train of thought but saying thought twice twice in a sentence annoyed me. just like that. >.> damn my ocd.)

the schools security system is spazzing out today. a few minutes ago the internet went down and every single site including google of all places was blocked. i'm a little confused but i already had this window up so i'm safe.

i'm nervous about my report card... if i don't get all a's i can't keep my phone... which i desperately need in this given period in time.

I'm still pretty hyped about you hearing the song "phonetically phonetically" because it's definitely grown on me even more as one of my favorite songs. I still can't find hardly anything on the band though so i'm a little pissed butttt, i'll get over it. =p

the lyrics are actually really beautiful. I don't know them because i can't find them anywhere on the stupid internet but i might actually buy the album online just so i can read the lyrics... it might be that the album is brand new, i'm not sure, but i want to get the real lyrics before i start making up stuff. i know like three parts from this song, "phonetically, i need it sounded out phonetically" and then "if i were a figure of speech, then you would all be erased, i could've been a grave, or the gravy on thanksgiving day." and lastly "something something something you've got marbles in your mouth something something" xD so i'm pretty lame and can't pick out very many things but i try my best eh?

meh. i guess it'll be a while before we dance in the rain again if ever.

but ignore that statement. i'm being dumb. =p

I'm a little perplexed by how you possibly could've stayed up so late last night that you would end up grumbling and grunting at people when you usually go to bed in between 10 and 1. granted, only 5 hours of sleep can sometimes go from plenty to nothing but if it means anything i'm just speculating cryptically on something. xD

i can really think of what else to say... well i can't, but i can't say what i'm thinking even though i want to badly... i hope your excited about new sampsons. I know i am.

face to face some day maybe yes know over a snow cone? (sorry. randomly felt like attempting to rhyme and be lame.)

meh, i figure i'll go make a public post on how lame i am and how i hate alligators.

so long. ;D

-hunter.