Sleep Stranger - My Soul To Take EP
Track Listings
1. Moon Don't Go Nowhere
2. Wrists
3. The Creature
4. If I Die, I Love You
5. Aphelion (Act I)
6. My Soul To Take (Act II)
Instrument Ideas
Vocals (+ overdubs, harmonies, choir sections)
Acoustic Guitar
Piano
Slide Guitar
Banjo
Harmonica
Small Drumset
World Percussion
Possible ideas - All songs tie into one large song, cut into 6 different segments.
more to come. writing in process
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
I'm happier. I'm getting there.
no interesting post today. sorry to the 1 or 2 people who read.
I'll say that last night the most oddly profound thing occured.
I was crying. and eventually i enjoyed the tears on my face. and because i was happy, i stopped crying. then i was sad because i stopped crying and couldn't feel the tears on my face. And i started crying again.
Story or my life xD
I'll say that last night the most oddly profound thing occured.
I was crying. and eventually i enjoyed the tears on my face. and because i was happy, i stopped crying. then i was sad because i stopped crying and couldn't feel the tears on my face. And i started crying again.
Story or my life xD
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
"Life is the human mind's conquest against itself."
Today, in first period, we had Mrs. Nelson, the english III teacher come into our class and do a workshop on essay planning. The faux prompt, which was to define "fear" was very typical in my opinion, but it was of course simply for demonstration. Anyways, we got to talking about fear as the emotions you get and the physical and mental response fear creates, such as in skydiving. And of course, being as introspective as i tend to be, i created a scenario in my head and thought to myself, "What about the parachute? What if it doesn't work?" I thought about going skydiving with a person who i won't name who is very close to me, and experiencing going on with a working parachute, and watching as this loved one plummets to ground with a malfunctioning chute to their death. It made me very morose in thought. But also, fear pushes us.
-
President Franklin D. Roosevelt said the all famous quote, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." No one really "fears" fear, rather they have this subconcious thought of, "the risks are too high, i don't think i'm going to do that." And when they say and decide things like this, they are potentially missing out on an experience that they could of readily enjoyed. At the same time, extreme sports like sky diving could result in death. Are we really willing to take the risks? Is the only thing we have to fear fear itself because we have a fear that is waiting at our backs?
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Essentially, i'm wondering: Would you rather go skydiving now and potentially get injured or die due to a parachute malfunction? Or, would you plan on doing it later in life? If you waited till you were older because you feared the risk of death earlier in life and wanted to get older before you tried something life risking like skydiving, don't you realize the potential factors that could cause you never experiencing what you were planning on experiencing? Between the time you decide to go skydiving when your older, and that day, you could die. You could lose an appendage. You could become married to a control freak who doesn't actually love anything but your money and says absolutely not. Any of the above. So tell me, would you rather endure that and REGRET not taking the chance? Or would you rather take the potential risk in death or serious injury and expierence the exciting. Everyone will fear the unknown, the inability to see the future, to predict tragedy. Christian's like i will equally believe our time is our time. It's all up to choice. But i believe that if it was me, i would rather take the sky diving chance. Whatever your motivation for doing something, like skydiving, or asking a girl out, or tell someone how you really feel, or performing a musical solo, just taking a chance in your life, i promise that in the long run, you will NEVER regret doing it. It is the risks we take, and the times when we dare to dream and to act on those dreams that make us.
-
"Life is the human mind's conquest against itself."
-Me, just now.
-
With that being said, i believe that if you see an oppurtunity you could potentially benefit from, whether it be emotionally or physically in any shape or form, you should take it. Fear is an intense and strong emotion. But it is also one that can be beaten. Fear is a creature that can restrain us, and a force constantly pushing at our backs to move forward. Never will come sooner or later. Death is the debt that all men pay. You cannot wait to move forward with life and take the chances that will make you be able to say on your deathbed, "i did what i believed i could do, but fear believed i could not. It's pessimism nearly influenced me to the point of insanity, but i perservered, and found it to be a devious as that control freak i married who didn't actually love anything but my money."
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Some of these thoughts may be a little farfetched, sure. But it all comes down to one thing.
-
every second counts.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Rats staR
2nd period again. I wonder how often i will update this blog when i am no longer in a computer class next semester. Besides german of course, but for that i have to pay attention. Damn computer classes. So as it goes the leaves begin to die, with the seasons couples form and deform, prostitutes realize their passions in life, blow one last dude and go to community college for a degree in cosmetics, find out that one last dude gave them herps of the mouth so now they can't be bulemic and have to become a fat sleezy shift day prostitute, who does cosmetics at night time, the usual. Anyways, more importantly, off the topic of my rant strings, i am moving on to my favorite 2 times of the year with everyone else; Fall and winter. Because of the fact i am a singer/songwriter who is in the best writing mood during the winter and fall because of the dying and death of local climate they represent to me, i will be writing and recording non stop this winter... or so is the plan. I will continue later. Blast you second period.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Continued thought 9/7/10 "love finds"
i was dismayed
i am not in love. I simply love this person. anyone can convince themselves. i was scared that i didn't love. I found myself dismayed. Even though by a quote, i second guessed myself. love is what remains, the embers of this inital fire.
i felt like i didn't love. i was simply in love. then i realized. the branches and roots are stretched underneath. I love.
I love this person. Every flaw and feature. The friendship. The laughs. The conversations. Even the silence. When the inital fire is gone. I still see love. It is so strange. i need this person right now, even to simply stand beside me. Across from me. I find it inconcievable to part with this thought of warmth. I love her. Simple as that. I realize that i will always second guess myself and doubt myself. and then i say this and i am calmed. reassured. positive. Solaced. it is strange. But it is wonderful. The inital rush and shaking of the mind subsides. And you simply find quintessential beauty in every single thing about this person. And you find it to be described by only one word. Love. It sounds cryptic i know. Archaic, whatever. Corny, sure. But in reality, i am happy. This love, how it finds you, is it not a fortunate accident?
do not second guess yourself based on a quote or a profound recognition or thought. If you sense that counterpoint of yourself in another, rather than a match of that idealization, that quote makes no difference.
Now all i fear is that i have said to much. Eh. The truth will set you free.
i am not in love. I simply love this person. anyone can convince themselves. i was scared that i didn't love. I found myself dismayed. Even though by a quote, i second guessed myself. love is what remains, the embers of this inital fire.
i felt like i didn't love. i was simply in love. then i realized. the branches and roots are stretched underneath. I love.
I love this person. Every flaw and feature. The friendship. The laughs. The conversations. Even the silence. When the inital fire is gone. I still see love. It is so strange. i need this person right now, even to simply stand beside me. Across from me. I find it inconcievable to part with this thought of warmth. I love her. Simple as that. I realize that i will always second guess myself and doubt myself. and then i say this and i am calmed. reassured. positive. Solaced. it is strange. But it is wonderful. The inital rush and shaking of the mind subsides. And you simply find quintessential beauty in every single thing about this person. And you find it to be described by only one word. Love. It sounds cryptic i know. Archaic, whatever. Corny, sure. But in reality, i am happy. This love, how it finds you, is it not a fortunate accident?
do not second guess yourself based on a quote or a profound recognition or thought. If you sense that counterpoint of yourself in another, rather than a match of that idealization, that quote makes no difference.
Now all i fear is that i have said to much. Eh. The truth will set you free.
Do Not Fear Me, For I Am Fearless
Apparently my posts have been boring recently (you know who you are, xD), so i'll attempt to keep a certain reader (that is if they are still left) interested.
this one is rather sappy. fair warning.
I've recently been perplexed by thoughts an emotions. The other day, for the first time in several months, i was happy. Yet at first, i didn't like it. I have become so use to being morose that i found this emotion a flaw, yet there was no way i could rid myself of it. And then when i embraced it, i became even happier. Why was i so withdrawn to that new found happiness? Was it just because since i suddenly had a different overall perspective on something i've been dealing with because things began looking up? I may never know. all i know was, after feeling that happiness, there is nothing i want more in the world. and i know exactly what will make it so.
In first period this morning, i realized something very profound and obvious that i had never thought before, yet was right in front of my face. Most people would agree that you cannot seek love, and find love. I myself have had a problem with that forever, not that i still seek love when i've found love (the problem there: i FOUND love), but that i seek love in general when i am single. Why is beyond me. BUT, regardless. It occured to me that love will find you always, you cannot force love, you cannot search for love and find it, and you cannot idealize love. It simply hits you. Blindsidedly. You know a person for a period of time, without having anything but platonic feelings for them, and then BAM! You realize that you love them. And not like love, Love. The absolute. I cannot explain the exact feeling, but i can say that it is not the same over dramatized typical feeling described by most people in high school when they've been dating for a year. It is a feeling that is simply there, not one that is created. It is an irrevocable (not to copy twilight, but it simply is) feeling that you understand, yet you don't. It teases with your head, perplexes you, and yet you cherish every second of it. It makes your heart beat slow and fast, all at the same time. It makes you nervous, it makes you kind, it makes you patient, it makes you smile, it makes you warm. How, no, Why, why does this happen?
I have this long, drawn out thought that not only would make this true for me, but make it true for the other person i am describing. In their case, it is actually a pretty interesting scenario, i have to say. My metaphoric example about this truly found love and how it is something that you never expect to happen, is finding a thousand dollar bill. What are the odds of you actually finding it if you've been searching for it your whole life? Maybe sure. Very slim. You had searched so long and hard, heard the stories of people finding them, people making them up, everything from this to that, that you had nearly given up, convinced that the $1,000 bill didn't even exist. It seemed that all your hope was gone, but then when you've all but turned into a prostitute, you're walking down the street one day and BAM, there it is in all it's glory. You cherish it, as it is yours, and yours alone. You fear loosing it, as it is your prize possesion. You show it off to others, yet you don't use it for gain or pride. Some may even try to steal it. You keep it safe with you, everywhere you go. You take pictures with it. But you never spend it, because it is yours, and it was the one you found for so long. Others will come along, $100 bills, Fiftys, ones, you name it. Even if you find another 1000, it will never equate to them one you have grown so close with.
Sadly i must depart... perhaps i'll finish this post later.
Yet i assume you get my point.
For once, I can say there is someone i would wait for till the end of my days.
For once, I can say that love has found me.
For Once, i can say that i am in love wihtout lying to myself on any level.
and i think just by saying that, with my past endeavors of "love"
For the first time, i am actually "In Love" with someone on every imaginable level, for every single part of them, even finding their flaws absolute beauty.
i am such a sap.
this one is rather sappy. fair warning.
I've recently been perplexed by thoughts an emotions. The other day, for the first time in several months, i was happy. Yet at first, i didn't like it. I have become so use to being morose that i found this emotion a flaw, yet there was no way i could rid myself of it. And then when i embraced it, i became even happier. Why was i so withdrawn to that new found happiness? Was it just because since i suddenly had a different overall perspective on something i've been dealing with because things began looking up? I may never know. all i know was, after feeling that happiness, there is nothing i want more in the world. and i know exactly what will make it so.
In first period this morning, i realized something very profound and obvious that i had never thought before, yet was right in front of my face. Most people would agree that you cannot seek love, and find love. I myself have had a problem with that forever, not that i still seek love when i've found love (the problem there: i FOUND love), but that i seek love in general when i am single. Why is beyond me. BUT, regardless. It occured to me that love will find you always, you cannot force love, you cannot search for love and find it, and you cannot idealize love. It simply hits you. Blindsidedly. You know a person for a period of time, without having anything but platonic feelings for them, and then BAM! You realize that you love them. And not like love, Love. The absolute. I cannot explain the exact feeling, but i can say that it is not the same over dramatized typical feeling described by most people in high school when they've been dating for a year. It is a feeling that is simply there, not one that is created. It is an irrevocable (not to copy twilight, but it simply is) feeling that you understand, yet you don't. It teases with your head, perplexes you, and yet you cherish every second of it. It makes your heart beat slow and fast, all at the same time. It makes you nervous, it makes you kind, it makes you patient, it makes you smile, it makes you warm. How, no, Why, why does this happen?
I have this long, drawn out thought that not only would make this true for me, but make it true for the other person i am describing. In their case, it is actually a pretty interesting scenario, i have to say. My metaphoric example about this truly found love and how it is something that you never expect to happen, is finding a thousand dollar bill. What are the odds of you actually finding it if you've been searching for it your whole life? Maybe sure. Very slim. You had searched so long and hard, heard the stories of people finding them, people making them up, everything from this to that, that you had nearly given up, convinced that the $1,000 bill didn't even exist. It seemed that all your hope was gone, but then when you've all but turned into a prostitute, you're walking down the street one day and BAM, there it is in all it's glory. You cherish it, as it is yours, and yours alone. You fear loosing it, as it is your prize possesion. You show it off to others, yet you don't use it for gain or pride. Some may even try to steal it. You keep it safe with you, everywhere you go. You take pictures with it. But you never spend it, because it is yours, and it was the one you found for so long. Others will come along, $100 bills, Fiftys, ones, you name it. Even if you find another 1000, it will never equate to them one you have grown so close with.
Sadly i must depart... perhaps i'll finish this post later.
Yet i assume you get my point.
For once, I can say there is someone i would wait for till the end of my days.
For once, I can say that love has found me.
For Once, i can say that i am in love wihtout lying to myself on any level.
and i think just by saying that, with my past endeavors of "love"
For the first time, i am actually "In Love" with someone on every imaginable level, for every single part of them, even finding their flaws absolute beauty.
i am such a sap.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Still in 2nd period.
Suddenly i feel extremely down. Thinking a lot. Felt like posting again. Too revealing on this blog? 10 minutes. I need my midmorning hug. I had a morning hug but i still need midmorning hug. 16 minutes until drumming time (w00t)
Endorphins, AWAY!!!
Endorphins, AWAY!!!
Fever
So while in the shower this morning, i thought of a typical, moderately humorous stand-up joke.
"Okay okay, story of my life; Who here tonight, has ever, or would ever, sleep with a man, OR a woman who weighed over 400 pounds?" *waits to see who raises hands and whoops and screams for chasing chubsters* "Okay, that wasn't part of the joke i just wanted to see who was honest with themselves... anyways!"
ha. funny. crowd laughs. whoops more.
Why i named this post "fever" is beyond me. I don't like fevers. i don't have one. I don't like being sick. I'm not.
I noticed recently that your throat can hurt from lack of sleep. Yet, for the past 4 nights i have slept amazingly, dreams that actually seem like the slow progression of time, rather than 5 minutes in a 4 hour span. On a sidenote, this has led me to believe that i may actually sleep better due to the morose thoughts and occurences i've experienced in those days. A question arises, Can sadness cause you to sleep better?
Moving on, my throat usually is sore for about 15 minutes after i awake. Not really sure what causes this, i remember my cousin used to take medicine for something of this nature, not sure if he still does, but it was prescribed.
Continued writing new lyrics and music. The album is developing nicely.
I am losing my sense of needing to conform to Justin Vernon's style in terms of song names, feel between songs, number of songs, etc. I feel that the large influence is slowly replacing the need to copy technique. I have 9 planned songs, lyrics for 5 or 6, music for 4 or 5, slowly but surely the music is indeed my best. I know that planning is coming well but too far in the future as far as where to record, how, etc. Just using Acoustics, harmonica, folk instruments, etc, very little drums. The vocal style is fully developed as far as my taste goes. Changing some lyrics for songs, i hate writing at school putting the note in my pocket and loosing track of it. I was lucky enough to remember them by mind the other day and write them down, then discover i didn't like them so i just rewrote the whole song which actually fit well. Came up with ideas for the songs in terms of progression. Not totally sure but have a better idea. Sorry for the short hand, i'm in second period and i'm just throwing thoughts out there. Building a Cabin, reflecting on the pain and hurt and experiences, ending with leaving for the spring and such, red room as far as developing goes, the progress towards inner peace after the catharsis and pained heart.
"takotsubo cardiomyapathy... Ever heard of it?" -Dr. Cox as played by John C. McGinley, Scrubs, (My House)
Found some delightful plans for a cabin for 29 dollars, a decent size for a studio, building should commence soon. Makes me happy that dad works at a sawmill so the lumber for building is free. Probably going to remove soem of the original sections of walls to make room for a larger main space for recording. Picked out the microphones and such, new amp soon, still need to find easy cheap but good sound padding. Need to get mixcraft and netbook or computer to put out. Moving piano and guitar equipment out into the cabin once it's built. Hopefully we can either finish it before winter has been gone too long or by summer and record there. It would definitely make the album more like a past tense biography like a reflection on my time writing and the very songs that they themselves reflect on tribulations and personal journey. Reflection on reflection. House of Mirrors. Pretty interesting. I think i'll call the cabin that. Indeed. Thank you blogging, you have allowed me to reflect on my own thoughts and inner metaphor/simile presented in life.
I am super hyped for marching band rehearsal tonight. Tomorrow is the first home game, and i can't wait to throw down (hopefully... let's not suck it xD )
sorry for the long blog and again mass amounts of short hand.
Adios!
"Okay okay, story of my life; Who here tonight, has ever, or would ever, sleep with a man, OR a woman who weighed over 400 pounds?" *waits to see who raises hands and whoops and screams for chasing chubsters* "Okay, that wasn't part of the joke i just wanted to see who was honest with themselves... anyways!"
ha. funny. crowd laughs. whoops more.
Why i named this post "fever" is beyond me. I don't like fevers. i don't have one. I don't like being sick. I'm not.
I noticed recently that your throat can hurt from lack of sleep. Yet, for the past 4 nights i have slept amazingly, dreams that actually seem like the slow progression of time, rather than 5 minutes in a 4 hour span. On a sidenote, this has led me to believe that i may actually sleep better due to the morose thoughts and occurences i've experienced in those days. A question arises, Can sadness cause you to sleep better?
Moving on, my throat usually is sore for about 15 minutes after i awake. Not really sure what causes this, i remember my cousin used to take medicine for something of this nature, not sure if he still does, but it was prescribed.
Continued writing new lyrics and music. The album is developing nicely.
I am losing my sense of needing to conform to Justin Vernon's style in terms of song names, feel between songs, number of songs, etc. I feel that the large influence is slowly replacing the need to copy technique. I have 9 planned songs, lyrics for 5 or 6, music for 4 or 5, slowly but surely the music is indeed my best. I know that planning is coming well but too far in the future as far as where to record, how, etc. Just using Acoustics, harmonica, folk instruments, etc, very little drums. The vocal style is fully developed as far as my taste goes. Changing some lyrics for songs, i hate writing at school putting the note in my pocket and loosing track of it. I was lucky enough to remember them by mind the other day and write them down, then discover i didn't like them so i just rewrote the whole song which actually fit well. Came up with ideas for the songs in terms of progression. Not totally sure but have a better idea. Sorry for the short hand, i'm in second period and i'm just throwing thoughts out there. Building a Cabin, reflecting on the pain and hurt and experiences, ending with leaving for the spring and such, red room as far as developing goes, the progress towards inner peace after the catharsis and pained heart.
"takotsubo cardiomyapathy... Ever heard of it?" -Dr. Cox as played by John C. McGinley, Scrubs, (My House)
Found some delightful plans for a cabin for 29 dollars, a decent size for a studio, building should commence soon. Makes me happy that dad works at a sawmill so the lumber for building is free. Probably going to remove soem of the original sections of walls to make room for a larger main space for recording. Picked out the microphones and such, new amp soon, still need to find easy cheap but good sound padding. Need to get mixcraft and netbook or computer to put out. Moving piano and guitar equipment out into the cabin once it's built. Hopefully we can either finish it before winter has been gone too long or by summer and record there. It would definitely make the album more like a past tense biography like a reflection on my time writing and the very songs that they themselves reflect on tribulations and personal journey. Reflection on reflection. House of Mirrors. Pretty interesting. I think i'll call the cabin that. Indeed. Thank you blogging, you have allowed me to reflect on my own thoughts and inner metaphor/simile presented in life.
I am super hyped for marching band rehearsal tonight. Tomorrow is the first home game, and i can't wait to throw down (hopefully... let's not suck it xD )
sorry for the long blog and again mass amounts of short hand.
Adios!
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