i was dismayed
i am not in love. I simply love this person. anyone can convince themselves. i was scared that i didn't love. I found myself dismayed. Even though by a quote, i second guessed myself. love is what remains, the embers of this inital fire.
i felt like i didn't love. i was simply in love. then i realized. the branches and roots are stretched underneath. I love.
I love this person. Every flaw and feature. The friendship. The laughs. The conversations. Even the silence. When the inital fire is gone. I still see love. It is so strange. i need this person right now, even to simply stand beside me. Across from me. I find it inconcievable to part with this thought of warmth. I love her. Simple as that. I realize that i will always second guess myself and doubt myself. and then i say this and i am calmed. reassured. positive. Solaced. it is strange. But it is wonderful. The inital rush and shaking of the mind subsides. And you simply find quintessential beauty in every single thing about this person. And you find it to be described by only one word. Love. It sounds cryptic i know. Archaic, whatever. Corny, sure. But in reality, i am happy. This love, how it finds you, is it not a fortunate accident?
do not second guess yourself based on a quote or a profound recognition or thought. If you sense that counterpoint of yourself in another, rather than a match of that idealization, that quote makes no difference.
Now all i fear is that i have said to much. Eh. The truth will set you free.
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